


The Daily Lives of Personified Nations

by breakdancingsigma (hetawholockvengerstuck)



Series: The Daily Lives Of... [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Cultural Differences, Gen, Historical Hetalia, More tags and characters to be added, Some of this is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-12 16:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2116476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hetawholockvengerstuck/pseuds/breakdancingsigma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One experiences quite a lot when one's life spans hundreds of years. Some experiences are funny, some are sad, some are just plain weird, but they're seldom boring. </p><p>A collection of moments in the lives of the Hetalia characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Define 'Friendship'

_Bad Friends Trio._ That's what everyone called them, but no one knew how accurate that name was.

* * *

"If you look to your left," France said, "you'll see a beautiful woman the likes of which you will find in no country but mine."

Prussia smirked. "Whatever. She's hairier than you, France!"

France's smile turned frosty. "Ah, but that is part of her charm! There is nothing wrong with leg hair. You are simply jealous because you cannot grow any."

Prussia glared back at France. "At least my legs don't look like a jungle!"

"Whatever you say, Brandenburg."

Prussia growled, and Spain sighed. "Please, we are all amigos here..."

But Prussia ignored him. "At least I never had to answer to a shrimpy Italian 'emperor' who probably slept with his sister!"

"I seem to recall you getting your ass kicked by that 'shrimpy Italian emperor'," France retorted.

"Oh,  _fuck you!"_

Spain took a step back and sighed as his friends began squabbling. Again.

* * *

It had been a long day for Spain. Romano had been grumpier than usual, the economy had taken a downturn, and he'd hardly gotten any sleep the night before. Now, sitting in France's living room, he couldn't concentrate on the conversation; dinner should have been served an hour ago, in Spain's opinion.

Prussia leaned back in his chair. "Hey, Francey-pants, how about something to drink? The awesome me needs a beer!"

"Of course!" France turned to Spain. "Be a dear and get us some drinks, would you?"

Spain snapped. "Get it yourself, you bastard, I'm not your servant anymore!"

Prussia gave nervously. "Dude, chill..."

"Oh, I get it," Spain said, ranting. "'Let's gang up on Spain because he won't argue!' Well, listen here, this isn't the Thirty Years' War, and I don't have to take this!"

"Whatever is bothering you, do not take it out on Prussia!" France growled. "No one is ganging up on you! Now get over your persecution complex and I will get the drinks!"

"What, you think I can't get them myself?"

Prussia grabbed a nearby cushion and buried his face in it, making a sound that could have been a frustrated scream or an attempt to sing falsetto. He  _hated_ when Spain got this way; nothing that anyone could say would make him think rationally. This was  _not_ going to be a fun night.

* * *

France had insisted that they go shopping, so Spain and Prussia accompanied him to a series of high-end boutiques that they felt very uncomfortable in.

It didn't help that France kept asking for their opinion, and then rejecting their choice. In fact, Prussia was beginning to suspect that he was doing it on purpose, and it was starting to get on his nerves.

France turned to Spain, holding up two scarves. "Which one do you think looks best,  _mon ami?_ The green one or the blue one?"

Spain considered the options carefully, as if France would actually honor his opinion. "I don't know, they're both such lovely colors."

Prussia laughed. "Dude, it's not that big of a choice. It can't be that hard to make up your mind."

"Says the guy who couldn't decide if he was Catholic or Lutheran," Spain mumbled.

Prussia's eye twitched. "Hey, you wanna say that louder? Couldn't quite hear you, buddy."

"I think you heard it just fine. It was joke, that's all."

"You sure? Because I don't think it was."

"Then you need to get a sense of humor."

"Maybe you need to fix  _yours_."

France sighed and looked down at the scarves in his hands. "Teal it is, then."

He purchased the scarf and hastily dragged his friends out of the store before they got kicked out. France  _really_ didn't want to get banned from another boutique.

* * *

_Bad Friends Trio._ To everyone else, it meant they were a dangerous group to be around. France, Spain, and Prussia agreed with the nickname, but for an entirely different reason: they may have been friends, but that didn't mean they got along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> History notes:
> 
> I can't recall the title of the book at the moment, but I read that the area that was once Prussia was originally called Brandenburg; the name 'Prussia' was originally a small Baltic duchy, part of Poland, that was conquered by the Teutonic Knights. The unification of the Duchy of Prussia and the Margraviate of Brandenburg created the Kingdom of Prussia--the very Prussia we know and love. I like to think that our Prussia disliked the name Brandenburg, and thus gets very prickly when someone calls him that.
> 
> France and Prussia spent a lot of time as enemies. Although France supported Prussia's claims to Silesia, they turned against one another in the Seven Years' War. If we consider Prussia part of the Holy Roman Empire (which it was), France also fought against Prussia and Spain in the Italian Wars. Prussia abandoned France after his defeat by Russia and fought against France in the "Wars of Liberation". Napoleon III (not the famous Napoleon) was forced out of power as a result of the Franco-Prussian War. Prussia was under the rule of the kaiser during World War One, and thus fought against France; and, of course, they would have fought on opposite sides in World War Two.
> 
> France and Spain were enemies in the Franco-Spanish War. Parts of the Spanish Empire were later taken by France. Furthermore, from the late 1500's to the first half of the 1600s, France and Spain were constantly at war; Spain had to concede territories to France in the late 17th century. Spain joined Austria and Prussia to try and put down the French Revolution, but was defeated by France and forced to sign an unpopular treaty that caused Spain to side with France against Britain and Portugal; eventually, the Spanish king had to abdicate the throne, which was taken by Napoleon's brother. In the anime, when the BFT are all together against Austria, Spain wasn't there by choice.
> 
> Spain was an ally of the Holy Roman Empire, and at least one Emperor was Spanish. Generally, the Spanish sided with the Empire; as Catholics, they would have been against Prussia whenever the official religion of Prussia changed to Protestantism (the rulers of Brandenburg-Prussia often switched between Catholicism and Lutheranism, depending on who was in charge).


	2. Dining Etiquette

The first World Dinner Party didn’t go so well, much to Germany’s dismay.

The whole point was to give the nations a chance to sample each other’s cuisine and bond over food. With full stomachs, Germany figured, there would be less squabbles.

The food part went over great. England brought something that was actually edible (and fairly delicious—clearly a bad sign), Sweden persuaded Finland _not_ to bring _mämmi,_ and America didn’t throw a fit when he saw that Ecuador had brought _cuy_ (although he did spend a few minutes staring forlornly at the dish).

The trouble came when everyone was sitting down and eating. It started, of course, with Romano.

“OY!”

America looked up from where he was drowning his pizza in parmesan. “What’s up, dude?”

“How _dare_ you ruin the pizza I spent _hours_ making!”

“I’m not _ruining_ it, I’m just adding cheese! It’s delicious!”

“You fucking—“

“ _Fratello,_ please, you’re being an ass again—“

“ _Look at what he’s doing!”_

Italy clapped a hand over his mouth in horror.

Farther down the table, England’s eye was twitching. “Japan, old pal, would you mind keeping it down over there?”

Japan noisily slurped up a noodle. “What is the matter, England-san?”

“Well, if it’s a cultural thing, I apologize, but it’s just that you’re eating so _loudly_ and it’s…well, to be blunt, it’s disgusting.”

“Do you not slurp your food?”

“Dear god, no!”

France swatted England’s shoulder. (Germany would forever curse the person who put those two next to each other.) “How dare you criticize Japan for his manners when you yourself are exhibiting poor etiquette! Keep your hands above the table!”

Spain laughed. “Isn't that what he usually says to you, _amigo?_ ”

“Don’t you lecture me, frog, your food’s on the table!”

“That is where bread belongs, you uncultured swine!”

From there, everything went downhill. Tanzania showed up late; America tried to use chopsticks, failed, and stuck them straight up in a bowl of rice (China and Japan almost fainted); England rested his forehead in his hands and muttered, “I've taught him _nothing_ ,” when India chose to eat with flatbread and his hands rather than the provided utensils; Mexico made fun of Chile for eating french fries with a fork; and Ethiopia looked extremely uncomfortable with the prevalence of individual plates.

And that was just food. Prussia got drunk and insisted on clinking glasses with everyone, even though people kept calling cheers just to see him run around the table. He took to avoiding Sweden, who tended to make very intense eye contact when made to participate. Hungary refused to clink her beer with anyone and pissed off half the table. Czech Republic laughed loudly when Prussia reached across her arm to clink glasses with Portugal, then wouldn't explain why.

Russia, predictably, was the worst. He mocked Canada for sipping at his vodka, all the while pointing to Latvia, who was downing his drinks in one go, and saying, “That is how it is done! That is how a man drinks! I will show you.” He tried to get Turkey to try a glass of vodka; when the offer was refused, Russia spent the next half hour fuming silently and staring with a smile on his face. Latvia actually _volunteered_ to switch spots with Turkey, just to keep the peace.

When the meal was over, China leaned back in his seat and belched loudly.

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” England asked pointedly.

China furrowed his brows. “Why would I do that?”

“Cuz it’s gross!” America chimed in. “And, dude, I thought I was a messy eater!”

India peered critically at China’s plate. “You still have some food left, China.”

“Would you like it? You must still be hungry, you’ve cleaned your plate!”

“I’m quite full, thank you. But you shouldn’t waste food like that.”

“I’ll take it!” Thailand reached across the table and hesitated before scooping a shrimp off of China’s plate.

“Aiyah! Take it all or take none of it, don’t go searching for things!”

Germany didn’t realize he was growling until he was on his feet and everyone was staring. Prussia edged his chair away.

“What’s wrong, Germany?” Italy asked, tugging on his friend’s sleeve.

It took all of Germany’s willpower not to yell. His willpower was not strong enough. “This dinner was supposed to be a chance for everyone to experience each other’s cultures and enjoy a nice meal. Instead, we have spent the past few hours _fighting_ and picking on each other! _Mein Gott_ , have you _no_ appreciation for other people’s cultures?”

There was a brief silence. Then Spain leaned over to Portugal and stage-whispered, “ _Hermano_ , is there any salt to put on this fish you brought?”

“Okay, _that_ was intentional!”

It was a long, long time before anyone tried to host another World Dinner Party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to make it clear that I am in no way making fun of anyone's dining etiquette. I think it's fascinating. 
> 
> Cuy is guinea pig, by the way. Sad, sure, but people eat lamb, veal, and duck embryo. Guinea pig is not the weirdest thing.
> 
> Prussia's being a dork, by the way, mostly because I misread. One of the articles said that Germans clink glasses with everyone near them at the table, but I thought it said "everyone at the table." Which I imagine would be hell in large groups.
> 
> Here are some references I used, if you're interested in learning more:  
> http://www.foodbeast.com/2014/03/20/this-infographic-explains-how-to-politely-dine-out-around-the-world/  
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/11/dining-etiquette-around-the-world_n_3567015.html  
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/28/drinking-etiquette-abroad_n_3473002.html  
> http://blog.joytours.com/2012/12/28/weirdest-food-etiquette-from-around-the-world/  
> http://www.thesavory.com/food/17-bizarre-food-etiquette-rules-around-world.html


End file.
